Shaping Me

“But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are out potter; we are all the work of your hand.” Isaiah 64:8

As I read the word, I am amazed at all of God’s works and especially how He goes about them. The people God uses to bring the gospel to the nations and everything they endure so He can shape them into the person He’s calling them to be just amazes me. Sometimes, what He’s doing is obvious. However, in some situations it takes looking back to see His providence. When I look back over my life and see the hardships, the victories, the relationships, the anything, I see my Glorious Savior at work.

The most recent struggle in my life has been the process of becoming a Community Leader. That sounds weird to say that it was a struggle, but I had never wanted something so much in my life… especially something that I had so little control over. The most I could do was show up to interviews, to class, to events, and be myself. That’s where the scary part was, and that’s where the enemy began to put negative thoughts in my head. I doubted myself and even doubted God. How could I, of all people, do this big job? I let worry take over the days leading up to me finding out what I felt was my fate. It became overwhelming. I stopped thinking about how big my God was and started thinking about how unworthy I am. There was no way I would get the position based solely on who I am. I am nowhere in my walk with God that I should be, I’m a procrastinatin pro, and I’m no social butterfly. How could I do enough to make it seem I could do the job? Out of nowhere, but it was definitely a God thing, the phrase “work like it depends on you and pray like it depends on God,” came to mind. My dad said this to me so many times growing up. So, I began to seek God’s face. I gave the worry over to Him because I knew I couldn’t handle it anymore. I couldn’t dwell on my shortcomings, but needed to dwell in God’s perfect peace. So, I picked up the book Jesus Calling and for March 8th, this was the devotion:

Save your best striving for seeking My face. I am constantly communicating with you. To find Me and hear My voice, you must seek Me above all else. Anything that you desire more than Me becomes an idol. When you are determined to get your own way, you blot Me out of your consciousness. Instead of single-mindedly pursuing some goal, talk with Me about it. Let the Light of My Presence shine on this pursuit, so that you can see it from My perspective. If the goal fits into My plans for you, I will help you reach it. If it is contrary to My will for you, I will gradually change the desire of your heart. Seek Me first and foremost; then the rest of you life will fall into place, piece by piece.

I Chronicles 16:11; Matthew 6:33 

Wow. Talk about perfect timing. I began to apply what God was saying to my life and approached the situation in a whole new way. If being a CL was in God’s plan for me then yippee! If not, then that’s fine, too. Whatever the verdict, God still has a perfect plan and knows what’s best for me. He will equip me with what I need in every situation and makes me qualified simply because I am His. I just needed to look up and give God my focus. As it turns out, God did have this in His plan for me, so next year I will be serving as a CL in Collins Residence Hall!!! I am so excited and feel so blessed. I have learned so much through the process and just can’t even explain how good God is. He has used it to shape me. It seems the most common thing He teaches me is how trustworthy He is and how silly it is for me to doubt. I am His child and because He loves me and died for me, I can sit at His right hand on the throne! As long as I keep God at the center of my life, everything will work together for my good.